Wandering Gypsy
by Lykosdracos
Summary: Based on The Man Who Cried, in Cesar's point of view, taking place after he wakes up when the door shuts and Suzie is forever gone. The thoughts he has on love lost and how life goes on


Wandering Gypsy

Authors Note: Fanfic on The Man Who Cried, just saw it yesterday and though the ending was rather abrupt, Johnny, as always, was wholly amazing. The way he portrayed Cesar was just... extraordinary, honestly. He manages to incorporate sadness, heartbreak, and anguished happiness all during the performance.

Authors Note 2: The song is taken from Jekyll and Hyde the musical, second disk, 'Dangerous Game.' Haunting, beautiful, the whole sound track is great! 

He woke up to a cold, empty room that held too many memories for his peace of mind. Cesar looked to the door wondering if the sound he'd heard was real. There were no lingering traces of warmth on the bed, yet he could still smell her presence in the room. He didn't know how to explain it, however, it was obvious she was gone and definitely not coming back.

_I feel your fingers brushing my shoulder. Your tempting touch as it tingles my spine. Watching your eyes as they invade my soul. Forbidden pleasures I'm afraid to make mine._

She could have stayed, not when so much danger was on its way. He could hear it in the wind, a chill that rent his heart and numbed his mind. His family was depending on him for strength and direction but his limbs felt too heavy to move and his soul refused to let him go to them yet.

_At the touch of your hand, at the sound of your voice, at the moment your eyes meet mine. I am out of my mind, I am out of control, full of feelings I can't define._

Fegele was her name, she had whisperingly pleaded with him to address her that way instead of the identity England had given her as Suzie. He hadn't asked questions then, the haunted look in her eyes told him all he wanted to know. Her hands running over his back, the tears she couldn't hold back, how she surrounded him warm and brimming with love, no words needed to be spoken.

_... a darker ream that has no ending. Something unreal that you want to be true. A strange romance out of a mystery tale._

He had wanted more than anything to take her away and banish the darkness in her beautiful black eyes, perhaps she'd erase the emptiness that plagued his every waking moment. Being a gypsy he was able to feel many emotions people had lost, both a curse and a blessing in that regard. Making love to her hadn't been base or a simple release of frustration, it had been like touching the sun. So beautiful it almost hurt, yet the pain healed him and made him whole.

_The frightened princess doesn't know what to do. Does she just run away? Does she risk it and stay? Either way there's no way to win._

Cesar refused to believe they had been doomed from the beginning, his friends had told him they had the best of changes. It was only society that heaped problems on their heads and made slurs against background descents. There were many times when he saw the yearning in her expression, he knew that she wanted more than anything to joining them, but he couldn't force her to shed the ties of rigidity that England had bound her in. She hadn't run away, and though pulled in two directions, had followed her heart.

_And I know I'm lost, And I'm counting the cost. My emotions are in a spin. And though no ones to blame, it's a crime and a shame, but it's true all the same. It's a dangerous game._

Rain pounded against the windowpane sent forth in a torrent from the heavens. The room at once felt stifling and Cesar couldn't stay still any longer. He leapt from the bed, wrenched open the door, and leaned against the cold wood of the doorway. He'd already said his farewell, there was no point in doing so to an empty room.

_No one speaks, not one word. All the words are in our eyes._

The rain fell on and around him muffling the hollow echoes of his footfalls against the cobblestone. Rain always made him restless, eager to move on and travel to unexplored countries away from war and famine. The army had taken their horses, tonight was when they went to reclaim them. Horses weren't just beasts of burden, they had spirit and soul to rival any man. His white Lippanzer hadn't been bred to a life of drudgery and war.

_Silence speaks loud and clear, all the words we want to hear._

Cesar would set him free before having him succumb to a graceless death under the cold, unfeeling soldiers command. Horses housed late king's hearts, his stallion had more courage and fortitude than most men he'd met. He fisted his hand inside the worn lining of his coat and felt the cold metal in shape of a coin.

_At the touch of your hand, at the sound of your voice, at the moment your eyes meet mine. I am out of my mind, I am out of control, full of feelings I can't define._

He had reached the corner wall that led to the gypsies home. Pulling out the perfect gold coin he sank to one knee disregarding the water that drenched his clothes. His Suzie, he put the gold in the palm of his hand and rested his forehead against his fist closing his eyes as he pictured her. So solemn and grave, no happiness or laughter in her lifetime. He wished there was something he could have done to make her smile and laugh like a child again.

_It's a sin with no name like a tiger to tame, and though no one's to blame, it's a crime and a shame, and the angels proclaim... it's a dangerous game._

Agony akin to physical pain rose to cut off air and made him gasp for breath. White puffs died in the night's air as he waited for the feeling to subside. He remembered her telling him of leaving Russia and her grandmother giving her three gold coins to ease her journey. He didn't ever expect to see her again, it was questionable whether he'd survive the night let alone years into the future. He listened to the echoing of raindrops around him and prepared himself for the battle that would commence later that night. Fegele would find her father and he'd protect his family, life would go on in it's endless cycle, he couldn't ask for anything more.


End file.
